Saying Words with My Face

The other night, Sadie asked me to reread a new book - Silent Lotus - before I turned out the light. This book, one I picked at random from the Reading Rainbow website, is about a young girl in Kampuchea who cannot speak or hear. She loves to dance, so her parents bring her to the king and queen, where she is trained to be a court dancer. She learns to dance the classical Cambodian dances, and thus learns to communicate through dance. Sadie loves to dance, but I asked her anyway why she wanted me to reread this story. She said:

I'm like Silent Lotus. Sometimes I don' t know what to say when people do things I don't like, so I use my face to say my words.

Preschool is an amazing place - we ask kids everyday to work out their differences continually, "by using their words," but we don't stop to think - are there times when words just aren't enough? For Sadie, having to say why she feels hurt or sad or confused when a friend does something she doesn't like can't be the only solution. Kids live in a world far more expressive than ours as adults, and it seems sad, in this context, to force her to "use her words" when her face, or her dance, tell it better.

A couple questions to think about:

• Is it braver to stand and engage, or to walk away?


• Can we develop the patience to engage our daughters and each other in conversation when it begins with a look, rather than with a shout?